Why Does Jesus Keep Shouldering My Burden?

Isaiah 9:4 – For You have broken the yoke of his burden And the staff of his shoulder

It was a Sunday evening in July. I had learned that my cousin Chuck, along with his team, was ministering at a church not far from us. Chuck serves at a West Coast Church known for operating in the miraculous.

At the time I was serving as the Prayer Director at our conservative East Coast Evangelical church. While God was and is doing amazing things at our church, we have not been all that comfortable with operating in the “sign gifts”. I invited my cousin and his ministry team to stay with us at our house by the lake for a couple of days.

It had been decades since I had seen my cousin and both of us had become Christians along the way. Now, spending time with him and his guys was a real treat. While he stayed at our house, I thought I’d invite our Prayer Team and some like-minded friends to come over and let Chuck and his team minister to us. My intent was to let the team stretch us a bit out of our comfort zone.

After some beautiful worship time down by the lake, Chuck gave a teaching. I expected that they would then start praying over people for physical, emotional and spiritual healings, exercising spiritual gifts that his team was blessed with. But, what they did do was simply call out people who had physical infirmities and then organize groups of us around them to then pray for the issue.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed. I had heard of amazing miracles that God has done through Chuck’s ministry and I wanted to see my cousin in action – slaying people in the spirit, casting out demons, some wild healings and maybe even him taking a stroll across the lake.

One of Chuck’s guys named Chris called over to the area where I was standing and asked, “Is there anyone over there who has a problem with an arm?” We all looked at each other until my friend Bill raised his hand and announced, “I do. I tore up a muscle and now it is all twisted and misshapen.” He exposed his arm and it was obvious that his bicep was not in the right place. With that they asked all of us standing around him to start praying for God to heal Bill’s arm.

So, I’m standing next to Bill and I begin praying with the others. But, as I’m praying I can’t help but feel totally inadequate. Our prayer team had been stretching ourselves to be more expectant about praying for God’s healing and we had recently seen some great results. We had begun to see things happening but here I really wanted to see the “professionals” at work.

All I could think of was that I was the wrong person for the job. I just did not have the faith to see this kind of healing. I mean, really, did I expect to see Bills muscle contort and move right back into place? After we all prayed for a while for Bill, we checked in with him.

I held my breath as Bill manipulated his arm and then my heart sank as he shook his head saying, “No. No difference.” Chris encouraged us to continue praying for Bill. In the meantime Chuck’s team began calling out other issues to the rest of the crowd that people acknowledged and then they organized teams to pray for those issues. The air was electric with various groups of people praying for individual’s physical prayer needs and desires for healing.

But, my disappointment for Bill only grew as he experienced no sign of improvement. Chris reassured us that we can’t always see what God’s intention was or perhaps we misread who or what God wanted us to pray for. I was consoled a bit by their peace and confidence in spite of a result that failed to match what I had hoped for.

However, at that point I felt a total spiritual failure – like I didn’t even belong there in my own back yard. I decided to back off and commit the rest of the night to just praying for my own weak faith. I knew at that moment that I was not the right person to be praying for miraculous healing.

As I stood there, God reassured me that He was at work as people here and there were acknowledging God’s healing touch. As a group, we were/are a faith work-in-progress and we were being stretched into new territory.

Then Chris called out, “Is there someone here that has one leg shorter than the other?” I shook my head. What are the odds of that? I knew these people pretty well and was not aware of anyone who had that issue.

I was startled when Pam, standing next to me called out, “I do. I have one leg shorter than the other.”

Chuck’s guy exclaimed, “Cool. We see God do this all the time!” He rushed over and grabbed a beach lounge chair and folded it open in front of her and me. He asked her to sit in the lounger, stretch her legs out and give some details.

Pam said she was born with one leg about an inch and a half shorter than the other. It caused her shoes to wear uneven and then her hips would go unaligned leading to back pain.

Chris then looked over the group that now surrounded her. My heart pounded as I thought, Not me! Please don’t ask me to pray. Of course, he then pointed to me, “Dave, pray that God would make her leg the same length as the other.”

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly agreed.

He told me to just hold my hands about six inches above her shins and say, “Leg grow.”

I tentatively spread my hands open, putting them together with the palms facing Pam’s shorter leg. My real intent was to block my vision, not really not wanting to look at what I projected to be my failure. I even glanced away as I prayed the simple and totally faithless prayer, “Lord, please make Pam’s leg grow.” I then stepped back in certain disappointment.

Pam got up acknowledging that she could swear she saw her leg grow, and felt something move in her leg. She was certain that it had happened. She has since acknowledged that there is no more unevenness in her hips and her back pain was gone.

God had worked a miracle in spite of my unbelief. It was not even mustard seed belief but by my estimation, total unbelief. Fortunately, there were plenty of others there exercising faith and belief. The ministry team alone seemed completely assured of the miracle that was to happen.

The night concluded and what I had hoped for was realized. There is no doubt that it was a messy evening. Chuck and His guys acted on what God was leading them to do. And, some of it was just plain odd.

By my estimation, though, everyone there was stretched in their faith and belief in some way. We even had non-Christian neighbors who we invited that were totally rocked by what they had experienced. (They’ve since recovered and God’s still working on them). Those that were more experienced in the miraculous enjoyed the movement of God’s Spirit. Some of the faithful were a bit shaken by the uncomfortable lack of structure of it all. While others had the joy of seeing what they were desiring to see – the reality of God’s power displayed in our world.

For me, I was faced with the shallowness of my faith and belief. But, somehow God responded to the desire of my heart and allowed me to participate in a true miracle – not through some giftedness that God imparted to me but simply a gift God gave to reinforce that whatever He does (or chooses not to do) is all Him. I felt that it was God reassuring me of the direction I was feeling led to go in, was where He wanted me to go. The disciples asked Jesus to increase their faith, and that is what God did for me that evening.

But, as the announcer says in the cheap TV infomercials – But wait! There’s more!

Little did we know that “the arm” Chris first called out for God’s healing was someone else’s arm. (Sorry Bill)

(This is Pat I of a 3 Part series to be posted over the coming weeks.)