“I’ll Take ‘Fear’ for 1000, Art”
Being ‘Pampered’ by the Pole
Standing still and staring straight up, I scratched the back of my neck. About a dozen guys stood behind me muttering the same question. “What is this thing?” A feminine voice approaching from a distance answered, “That’s the Pamper Pole.”
We were at our Church’s annual Men’s Weekend Retreat. This new retreat venue had a ropes course. Part of, but separate from the course, was this event that was affectionately called the ‘Pamper Pole”. Don’t be fooled by the name. This event was not a day at the spa being pampered. I assume that the name was derived from the possibility that when you do the event, the fear may be so great that you might wet yourself and thus the possible need for a diaper.
It is comprised of a 40-foot telephone pole that stood isolated and therefore appeared much taller. Handholds going up led to a tiny platform on top that was only slightly bigger than the circumference of the pole.
The only girl staff to be found in Men’s Weekend came up and handed me the rigging saying, “Here, you’ll show them how it works.” Great! – Not!
As I began to put on the harness vest I asked, “Can you give me a quick idea of what I’m doing?”
“Sure. You climb to the top, stand up and dive off trying to hit the Frisbee dangling about 10 feet away from the top of the pole.” I looked up and thought, I don’t want to do this! Why? Because, I was filled with fear. I would be needlessly putting my life in Jeopardy – not just danger but “Grave” danger. (I can hear Jack Nicholson’s voice from A FEW GOOD MEN, “Is there any other kind of danger?”)
Now, the reality is, that the harness had a thick safety rope attached to it with the other end of the long rope going up to a tackle high above and down tethered to a block where the girl stood to catch my weight when I fell. (So reassuring as she looked all of about 75 lbs)
When I grabbed the first handhold it confirmed what I already knew, I really didn’t want to do this!
A memory of an incident as a 10-year-old grabbing onto the handles of a monorail ride that ended with me waking up in the hospital flashed through my mind. But, I decided to just face my fear. I began to climb, not looking down. I reached the top and looked back down. It appeared to be more like 100 feet. The idea of now struggling to manipulate my body up over this little platform and then force my way up to a standing position was terrifying. I decided I was going to bail out.
But, when I looked back down and there was this teenage girl who had probably done this dozens of times. My ego kicked in. I just didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of the only girl in the place. I know – pretty pathetic. So, through weak, wobbly knees I pulled and twisted and turned until I got my feet on the platform. I slowly stood up as my quaking legs shook the entire pole. I did it!
Still, I kept telling myself, I really don’t want to do this. If I could’ve figured out a way to climb back down that was less dangerous, I would have. Could I finish it? 40 feet up and just diving off into nothing? Everything in my being said not to do it. But, really, there was no other safer way down.
It was strange. There was something about the consuming ‘fear’ that caused the knowledge of the truth that I was safely secured to something to vanish. Each step along this journey I had to keep reminding myself that I was tethered – reminding myself that if the rope had failed before, this event wouldn’t be here. (BTW – I don’t know why, but the event is no longer there.)
I stood, rigid, on top of the pole. I said a quick prayer and was totally prepared to meet my maker. I sincerely had a “this is it” feeling of resignation.
I dove off and made a half-hearted swipe at the Frisbee as I closed my eyes. Now, falling laying horizontal to the ground I knew it would be quick with little pain.
But then the rope caught. I opened my eyes and found myself dangling while being slowly lowered to the ground.
Hmmm? That wasn’t so bad.
Fear of Circumstance or Fear of Jesus?
As a part of a study in the Gospel of Luke I encountered 2 episodes in Luke Chapter 8:22-39 where Jesus displays unearthly power by miraculously overcoming great (grave) danger. The first, by calming a sudden and fierce storm that was certain to destroy them, and second by driving away a legion of demons occupying a man, filling him with rage and super-human strength. Both very scary scenarios.
Many Bible scholars agree that both were attempts by Satan to use his power through the physical realm and then through the spiritual realm to destroy Jesus along with His ministry and mission. Jesus easily dispatched both attempts with a yawn and a wave of His hand. The ease and power with which Jesus performs these miracles is not what strikes me most from the story – after all that’s what Jesus does.
What struck me most was the “fear” ascribed to the disciples and then to the townspeople. The different Greek words that the writers used to describe the fear found in the Gospel of Luke and the other Synoptic Gospel versions.
Luke uses the Greek word Kinduneuo – ‘Jeopardy’ or ‘grave danger’ to describe the boat in the storm. Here, he sets the stage that what was happening was something to be genuinely afraid of.
There is a final scene in the movie The Perfect Storm that captures what I would consider one of the most frightening of circumstances. In the film, much like the scene set in Luke 8 a fishing trawler is besieged by a huge storm generating mammoth waves. The boat is flipped over and driven to the bottom of the deepest ocean with all trapped inside – all except for 1. The one sailor escapes to be left helplessly bobbing in the raging sea with no hope for survival. To me that is scary stuff.
In the storm, what were the disciples afraid of? Dying? Drowning? Unknown and unexpected dangers below the surface? Their world suddenly spinning out of control? A tragic ending? The realization that who they had put their faith and trust in was not going to prove to be trustworthy?
The disciples had done all that they could to rescue themselves. Finally, they cried out to the sleeping Jesus and say they are Apollumi – ‘drowning or perishing.’ The word conveys that their fears are real and that they really are in the process of being destroyed.
Jesus gets up bleary eyed, shaking his head. He waves his hand at the storm and basically says, “Stop already.” And the storm immediately stops. Maybe you can hear the irritation in his voice when he then turns to his disciples and says, “Where is your faith?” or “How small is your faith?” before climbing back onto his comfy pillow.
Can you hear the irritation and disappointment? How many times have I heard that echo in my head when my faith has proven to be so weak? But, hold on. Let’s take a closer look at what Jesus said and why.
Didn’t the disciples do what we as Christians are instructed to do? Why were they chastised? They were experiencing very real danger – the sudden storms of life. They believed they were going to die. What did they do? They cried out to Jesus – the miracle worker and asked him to save them. Sounds like something we, as Christ-followers are encouraged to do and yet Jesus seems to be is acting as though they did something wrong. Did they?
Tucked In and Lamps Burning 